Herding Cats


Right folks, your map goes this way up!
Don’t walk the wiggley blue, that’s
Wet! The route’s in pink (in Ken’s case,
Green). These mugs are chocolates –
The brown flask’s milk and there’s a Will-
Bar each. If you sign up for tea
I’ll mobile-phone the pub. Oh rats
The server’s down! Oh, by the way,
Last month we lost two bobble hats
A Thermos and a left hand glove.
You’ll find a walking stick and mats
For sitting on are useful and
Has anyone an aerosol
For midges, bugs and gnats?

Right folks, the farmer here is bats
About his sheep so could the last one
Shut the gate? Watch out for cow pats
And take care, that barbed wire fence
Was built for judging acrobats!
I know the path is steepish, but
It’s muddier on the flat!
Just marvel at the wildlife in
Their natural habitats,
There’s deer and fox and rabbits and…..
Oh Great Jehosophat!
We’ve missed the second turning
Through our all-engrossing chats!

With theocrats and democrats
And Eurocrats and technocrats
And bureaucrats and plutocrats
And the occasional diplomats …..
Oh ye gods and little fishes,
It surely would be simpler
Herding cats!